I now know the feeling of a heart break,
the feeling of regret that floods your soul,
of not knowing how much more you can take.
The weight of the world is taking its toll.
It’s always been hard for me to admit my mistakes
and I usually find a way around the hump
and I usually avoid the part where your heart breaks.
I am never the one in a slump.
I always made sure to protect my heart;
to keep it away from harm,
so that it wouldn’t fall and tear apart;
my shield I would never disarm.
But one day I met a boy who changed me,
he took down my long standing wall.
He was the first one to truely see
and he held me up so I didn’t fall.
Then I took this fragile piece of joy
and I dropped in on the floor.
It broke like a child’s old toy
that glue just couldn’t fix anymore.
They say you never know what you’ve got till it’s gone
but by then it’s too late
and you have to move on.
You, alone, have sealed your fate.
So now I sit here, torn inside,
You, beside me, telling a joke,
while I struggle, my feelings I hide,
my insides: cluttered, my heart: broke.
I know it was my doing that ended our glory,
ended our happily ever after,
ended our possible love story,
ended our laughter.
I know I have to move past this bump in the road,
learn from my dumbass self,
throw away this heavy load,
but my memories on their shelf.
But I just need you to know that I am sorry I ruined this wonderful time
for you and for me.
I am sorry I killed this lovely climb.
I am sorry I took what made us both so very happy.
I am sorry.
More than you know,
I am sorry.