Why is everyone pushing It? Why does the “M” word come up at least once a day from you or my parents or my coworkers?
We’ve been dating for almost four months now. I know you want to marry me. You want to spend forever with me. You want us to sleep wrapped in each others’ arms every night, safe in the knowledge that neither of us are going anywhere. You want us to raise a family, a little circle of brown-haired green-eyed giggling balls of energy.
Your family loves me. Your dad thinks I’m better than sliced bread. Your mom…I don’t know what she thinks, but she likes me enough to be excited when you bought the ring. Your (adorable) nieces already asked if I was going to be their new aunt. I’d fit in there pretty well, I think.
I think these dreams are beautiful. I think these people are great. And you. I love you already.
But enough to marry you? I don’t know. Enough to leave my family? Enough to knit my dreams to yours, to change my plans to our plans? I’m young. A baby at this. And I love the dream. After all those chick flicks and Disney movies, I long for happily ever after. Who’d have thought that the princess wouldn’t be thrilled to move into the castle with the prince?
I would be thrilled, I guess. But not yet. I want to know you better. I want to keep falling in love with you, keep finding reasons to adore you. I’m so happy just being with you, I want to enjoy this time for what it is, and build my castle later.
Maybe it’ll happen. I’d like to think that it will. But on yours, my, and God’s time. Not everyone elses. Slowly. Slowly we’ll go. We’re only talking forever.