• And I’m done hoping we can work it out

    by  • July 2, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Letting Go • 0 Comments

    Today I woke up a girl still in love with you. And no in 24 hours that hasn’t changed….but today I got a little bit stronger. You’ll never know that I love you. Because as much as I’d love it, you’ll never ever see it. It isn’t your fault you don’t see me like that. I don’t blame you for anything anymore. Because it isn’t fair for me to. You’ve been nothing but a friend to me. Never intentionally hurt me. Never knew what you were doing to me. But today I realized it’s better for everyone if I let go. Letting go is easier than fighting to hold onto something I’ve never had. I still have time to be happy with someone else. I know I won’t love anyone like I love you and I also know I won’t ever fully stop loving you. You took a lot more than a necklace from me. But even though my heart is beaten and broken and hurting, it’s growing stronger. And there’ll be someone out there somewhere who will see past all of the hurt and the pain and see the beauty still there. I know that everyone around us sees how much I love you… sees the way I look at you when you aren’t looking…..sees the way I light up when you look my way…..but I’m getting tired of always tripping over myself…. I’m getting tired of the lies…. and the games….. and being more than just your friend but never enough in your eyes. If you wake up one day and realize why I’ve always been there to talk about girls with you….why I never pushed for anything….why every time my phone buzzed when I was with you I ignored it…. and you see that maybe just maybe someone like you could love me too…. well you know where to find me…yesterday I would’ve sworn that you’d still have me then even if it’s 20 years from now….but today I can’t make that promise….waiting for you is like waiting for rain in the desert… It might happen but the chances are slim to none…. Because as much as everyone sees me loving you…they see you loving her… So this me is letting you go free to love her…and maybe just maybe I’ll love someone like him. You’re still a good friend and you always will be…. But I’m done being your back up plan. Because I know I’m better than that.

    This belongs to you and always will…. I just hope you know it’s for you.
    *hugs* (because love didnt feel like the right closing word)
    That girl who gave you her favorite necklace and the biggest piece of her heart

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