• You’re destroying me

    by  • July 1, 2011 • Eff Off - You - or Up • 0 Comments

    You’re destroying me and don’t even know it. You’re breaking everything that I am, and turning me into something I hate. I was strong, independent, and didn’t take shit from anyone. Now I am weak, dependent on you for everything, and can’t even stick up for myself anymore. You put me down, and make me feel as small as I possibly could feel. You’ve broken my spirit, and crushed my creativity. I can’t even draw anymore. My heart is cracked and bruised. My self esteem is at an all time low. But yet I stay. I stay with you because it’s easier than getting away. It’s better financially, it’s better for our daughter, and I can no longer be alone thanks to you. I should have gotten away when I had the chance…when I left you the first time for your behavior towards me. Those few months we were apart, I truly felt alive, and I truly felt like me. But you sucked me back in. Sucked me right back with your lies. Telling me this time you’d treat me right, this time would be different.. You didn’t realize what you had, but you do now.. ALL BULLSHIT you still don’t realize everything I was. How much I did for you…how much I still do despite your attitude and harsh words. What hurts the most, is that after all the crying, and talking and the bullshit you fed me while we were apart, you haven’t kept one single promise you made me. I now feel stuck, I have become so emotionally exhausted that I cannot find passion or love for anything. Our daughter is the only thing that keeps me going, day in and day out. I use to have such love for the world, for discovering new things, cooking, drawing, dancing, music. Everything. I such hunger for adventure. I had goals and dreams. But you’ve killed everything inside me. I used to have such love for you! I thought we’d take on life together, I truly thought we were soul mates. But you’ve killed my soul. I hope one day I can get the courage to leave you again. I hope I can one day stand on my own two feet and support our child on my own and find true happiness. But until then I will sit here quietly as you stomp around with your hate filled heart, one day you will be lonely and miserable like I am…and I hope I am there to point and laugh and make you feel just as humiliated and sad as I am. you fucking bastard!!

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