• You Hurt Me

    by  • July 1, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Betrayal • 0 Comments

    You rescued me from the lonliness from my abrubt divorce 4 years ago. At first it was all just fun and games and kept my mind at ease. You eased the pain with your laughter and similar sense of humor. We traded secrets, stories and I feel in love with you. I remember the day. On the beach at 2 AM telling stories of your terrible childhood. I saw the innocent “lovely” in you. That was it, I was hooked. As time passed you pushed me away every time it got too close. Then you’d pull me back in when it fit in your schedule or after all your other plans fell through.

    Yesterday I needed a friend. Had the medical test ran and I was so scared. I needed a friendly face and some laughter and asked if I could come over but all I got was a text saying you had a date but that you’d pray for me. I feel again like discarded trash – just like in my divorce where my husband handed me papers on my way into work one Friday. “Good morning, here’s your coffee oh, and can you sign these?” We never even had fights, always happy I thought.

    I thought I would never love again after my divorce but I did but I see I was just used. The sad thing is that I see you running scared / desperate. You’re turning 40 and freaking out that you’ll be alone so now that’s your mission. How sad and shallow that is to focus on that and forget the meaningful things in life like friendship, help and love. I’m sorry you’re so cold and I take this day to say, you will NEVER have someone so much more worthy to love you. But I’m sure she’ll have a hot body and be fun…for a couple years at least.

    You hurt me deeper than he did b/c you saw my pain and did the same thing to me. Friends don’t do that. What I’ve learned: I’m most sad because I’m losing my best friend who wasn’t even my best friend. I’m losing the relationship I though we had…a facade. It was nice, it made me smile and I would have done anything to give you the same back.

    Love you but will let you go because that’s what you want and thats what I need.

    “Don’t ever make anyone a priority who makes you an option”.

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