• One and Only

    by  • July 1, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Regret • 0 Comments

    There have been some before you. There have been some behind you. I look back and think ‘I should have said yes.’ I was young and you didn’t know where you were going in life but regardless of that you still loved me. You asked for my hand over and over but I said ‘No, love, there’ll be a time when I’m free and you’re settled and we can be together.’

    She came back and I was promptly ignored. I don’t blame you; she came before me. But you really couldn’t see the game she was playing? You finally had a career, you had a place, and you were going somewhere. I remember you without the Army, without a purpose. You always dreamed of going someplace big and different. And when she came I thought she’d go just the same. I remember you telling me how much you hated fighting with her.

    I shudder as I remember little gestures. How you brushed my hair aside, that smile, those eyes that always seem to catch on me. I fell asleep in your arms watching Wall-E, remember? We were up there after field and there was nowhere to sit so I jumped in your lap and fell asleep. That first kiss outside the bowling alley? No matter how much I work on forgetting you I will always keep that memory safe.

    After all three years of waiting, three years of getting to know you, you just left? I still feel sick knowing she had something that I didn’t. I wasn’t good enough to stay with. Now I hear you two are having a kid together and you’re happy. I’m glad you’re happy. Really. I just wish you would’ve given me some closure, some answer to the why.

    Maybe if I had said yes, you would have stayed for me.

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