I don’t know what love is. I don’t know if it even exists. I’m fifteen. I don’t know love. But, what I do know is the way you smile, the way you walk, the way you smell, the way you goof off, your personality. Everything just takes my breathe away.
From the moment we met back in seventh grade, we had an instant connection. I know to this day, we’d still be just as strong as we were if I hadn’t have been a fool. I wish I hadn’t hurt you, and it haunts me every day.
I remember back in September, I entered the funeral home with all my family and braced myself for everything that was about to go down. I was crying in my Aunt’s arms when someone came in and said, “Someone’s here to see you.” I walked out and seen you walking through the door with your mother by your side. You didn’t have to come to my daddy’s visitation, but you did. And to this day, I am so grateful for you. I remember running and jumping, throwing my arms around your neck and we just stood there and cried together. That was the day I realized that I had made a big mistake.
The year went on and on, as us being friends, when we both knew there should be so much more. Then we started fighting. Fighting over what? Fighting over everything. Fighting over girls, fighting over guys, fighting over you, fighting over me, fighting over fighting. And then we lost someone else, another angel was called away. One of our friends. Your best friend. Of course, we got along and were there for each other through our time of need. Then we went back to fighting. Why?
It’s been three months, but still this feeling just eats me alive. You’re on my brain from the moment my eyes open to the time they shut. When someone says your name, I automatically swing my head in their direction. I want to make you happy, and I want you to be happy, even if that means being with someone else. I want to take care of you, even though I am no where near equip. I want to be there for you and help you. I’m sorry. For everything single little thing I’ve ever done to hurt you in any way. Please, forgive me.