The rage makes itself known more and more often. You find that anger bubbling up inside of you even more. Even the slightest things can trigger it now, a song, a sentence… a look. You have spent years and years, ever since you watched your dad lose control of his temper, perfecting your anger control. For years you have pushed back those violent feelings, having seen and felt first hand the pain and fear such feelings can cause in others. And you have been successful every time. Now you have learned to focus that anger into something productive, like cleaning. Something you really only seem to do when mad.
There is a problem though. You have forced this back, but because of that, those around you see you as a placid girl, simple… naive. Even those people closest to you, who call you their friend, use you as they see fit. Only speaking to you when they have no one else to talk to, or using you as a dumping ground for their problems. You never even realized you were being used as such until you finally met two people who didn’t use you.
You know it’s true. And you hate it don’t you?
So why not let some of that anger free. In small doses of course. Let in manifest as that attitude you know you have, or simply a “fuck you.” It’s time to stop letting those around you walk all over you. Do not let yourself be used anymore. You are finished with bad friendships. You have been hurt enough. Let that attitude, that spirit that you have so long feared and kept hidden, go lose. Just never let go of that fine control.
Yeah, they’ll think you’re a bitch. They’ll call you selfish. But only because you don’t give them everything of you like you used too. Even if they call you such things, remember, you’re breaking free. It isn’t bitchy, or selfish… it is liberation.
Best of luck,