I thought I would know exactly what I wanted to say when I started writing this…and I know that you’ll never read it, so why am I so nervous?
I don’t know if I’m still in love with you.
Even though sometimes I act like I am.
I think I am just searching for that feeling I use to have with you. I miss feeling that way…and I really miss someone feeling that way about me.
I’m afraid I will never find someone..or that the right person will come along and I will ruin it. I’m afraid I’ll die alone sometimes. Or that I’ll make the wrong decision in life and that will avoid me meeting the person of my dreams.
It is scary to think how every choice you make, as simple as going to the store can alter your path by allowing you to chance meet someone.
I will always love you. Not in the way I use to, but you are a part of who I am becoming and therefore you are apart of what I am.
I wish you wouldn’t hurt me so much. And push me away. You know you are. I wish I was smart enough to let you push me away.
& I find it sad that when I use to write you letters like this, you never appreciated them.
Now I will send this letter …telling you how it really is.
And you won’t read it, because you don’t deserve to.
As much as I love you. I hate you. You’re a bad person, selfish and uncaring. You have a lot of issues.
But I will always be there if you need a friend.
But things cannot go back to the way they were.
But I’m not sorry.