It seems that to me, everything in life is just blah. The only thing I really care about is love, so obviously that’s the one thing that so often comes and goes. The faith and trust I had in Courtney was something I’d never experienced, and to see it fall apart is a tragedy. When ever the world seemed too much to handle, the thought of you put a genuine smile on my face and made me realize what’s important. Without that, I’m just a person who has no real passion for anything, trying to pass the time doing the best I can. The thought of me ending my college career and have never had a serious girlfriend in my life scares the shit out of me. The thought of me living on my own beginning my career as a teacher is overwhelming. Adults often make comments about how college and high school are the best time of your lives and so on, and although I see their point of view, I pray that they’re wrong. I can’t help but to look back on the could have beens, although I know it is the worst thing you can do. I hope someday it all works out, and I can look back on this letter thinking about young and dumb I was for writing it. I hope things start working out, and I’m not toxic. I’ll miss you.