I want to give our past relationship the level-headed de-briefing it never received. First, I want to thank you for having the courage to end it: I was no longer a healthy participant and the time away from you has given me an opportunity to evaluate my role in our relationship. The thing that really was driven home and the most important lesson that I have ever learned is that I alone am responsible for my well-being and happiness; it is not healthy to rely on another for this. It is also impossible to be happy with another person if one is not happy within oneself. This is the greatest bestowal you’ve granted me: I am currently and intend to continue to make use of it.
Second, I am glad that you saw fit to continue our relationship in a different vein as I still highly value my connection with you. Whether there was a part of me you wished to stay friends with or you hoped that I could change I appreciate the fact that you did not give up, only changed tactics/ perspective.
It seems to me that when a relationship ends most people mourn and then “move on” without truly taking stock of things. Mostly they conclude that they were wronged somehow and they learn little to nothing. This for me was not something that will float by in a similar fashion, coming up only when the opportunity arises to tell a story or perhaps warn my children against some obscure danger. This is something that will affect me for the rest of my life and has already effected a change in my attitude.
All of this is why I still love you and why I am happy to communicate with and be around you. It brings me pleasure to be a part of your life and that is already enough for me. I hope that you have understood me and this serves as a proper counterpart and answer to that jumble of a tear-stained note I left on your nightstand some early Saturday morning. I can’t be embarrassed and regret what was said then because the note expressed the way I felt at the time; it was my way of making sense of the situation; I did not know what I know now.
I hope that I have not made you uncomfortable reading this; I want to be able to put anything and everything o the table with you. The relationship we will have, whatever the dynamic may be, will be healthier and more deeply satisfying that what was previously experienced.
And now I get to say the thing I have only cautiously whispered to myself on a few occasions: We made it. Both of us.