• Plans

    by  • June 30, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, The Ex • 0 Comments

    We break up over the summer. That was the plan. Be friends for a while. Have sex, hang out, but see other people. That was always the plan. But things got serious. We discovered we really cared about each other. I made promises. I always keep my word. But I regret those now. I feel trapped even though we’ve already broken up. I’m beginning to resent you and your jealousy and all the emotions that keeps you worrying about me. But I don’t know what to say to you. You’re an amazing girl. You’re strong and proud and beautiful. I’m broken. I’m a suicidal, drug-abusing, reckless smoker. I don’t care about my life, and it kills me that you do. I don’t want you to care about me anymore so I can be free. Free to get fucked up and forget. And the craziest thing is, I miss you. Our relationship was the longest and healthiest I’ve ever had. There were times that i couldn’t stand you, but I still loved you. You were my friend, lover, and guardian angel. How can I repay you with this? With worry and cigarette smoke? I want you to move on. I want you to find yourself without me. I want you to live your life and forget about me. I’ll only bring you down. But i still want you in my life. I don’t know what to do…

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