Last summer I swore I wouldn’t put myself through another relationship. I was perfectly content with being alone..and then I met you. You had the ability to make me laugh at absolutely anything, no matter what mood I was in. You always made that goofy face because you knew that it would make me laugh EVERY TIME. You’d even send me pictures of “the face” when I was upset. So I let my guard down, completely. I had never felt this way about a person and I knew you were going to be in my life for a long time, so I caved. You would send me these really long texts saying you loved me and telling me I was perfect and promising you would never hurt me, and I believed it. Every single word you said, I believed. For the first time I was genuinely happy…and in love. You were everything to me. I loved your laugh, your smile, your slightly dreaded hair, the way you stood, the weird things you did, your humor, your blue eyes. Everything. You weren’t afraid to play rough with me or tell me when I was being stubborn or a flat out bitch. You were honest. It seemed like you were my reward for everything good thing I had done in life.
Then things fell apart. You were always working or skating. There was never time for me. I loved you so I was patient. I didn’t want to bitch at you for it so I just waited it out.
You wanted a break. Things were too stressful and you needed time to fix it all. You swore it wasn’t my fault and you still loved me more than anything and there’s no one you’d rather be with. But you lied. You never talked to me again after that night, not even when I asked you straight up if we were over. You just left me alone, heartbroken and full of questions. The thought of that still kills me to this day. How can you just leave someone you LOVED out in the cold like that? and how could I still love you after you did this to me?
I compare every single guy I meet to you and NONE of them compete. I know I’ll never find another Nick and that sucks. You completely turned my world upside and you taught me how to love. I will always love you no matter how much it kills me inside. You know that song the only exception by paramore? You were my only exception.