You were my best friend.
My best guy friend and i was your best girl friend.
We used to text all day everyday
and now i’m lucky if i get a text every few days.
“Let your love grow tall” is the first thing that your best friend told me, when he knew, that i was falling for you. And i said that i would, and that i understood. he didn’t have to say anything else, and i really didnt even have to tell him anything at all.. he knew.
it all grew so out of control, and envy took over. I would leave your house either feeling uplifted, so joyful that we had such a great night, and so excited that i felt there was a chance for us
and then there were those other nights, when i would leave your house, get into my car and want to cry, because the overwhelming feelings i have for you, have to be deeply hidden. Because i don’t want you to know.
You have a girlfriend now,
and i lost my chance in a way. I sort of thought i would always have this chance. But you made it clear to me that i don’t. You didn’t even have to say it.
Once you told me you had been crazy about me a few weeks later, and i told you i felt the same way, i thought you would pick me. how naive was i?
You had a commitment you were in, you said. And i could see it when i met your girl at your kick off summer party. So nervous i was, i had been thinking about it all week. Knowing if she showed up, and how you guys acted together would all put my puzzle together and let me know what was going on instead of a confused bubble in my head. You two were all over each other, and i can tell that she must mean a lot to you..
If you really wanted me, you would have chosen me.
Because you and I both know, that you could have gotten me
i guess that’s why i lost
no one wants something so easily gotten
but i just don’t understand in some ways. how you can say you had feelings for me regardless and that they never went away?
Yet we have not talked about this since.
You just want this to disappear, i know it. But i have news for you. i’m not a magician.
I have been trying to put these feelings away since June 10th.
And after all this time, still, i don’t think i cross your mind, as half as much, as you cross mine.
I smile and nod, and try to forget this ever happened.