I’m not normally the jealous type. I’ve never been upset to learn that one of my exs has a new girlfriend. The problem with your new girlfriend is that she is not new. You knew her for a good deal of the time you lived with me. No wonder you lost interest. No wonder you started making accusations. I understand that your guilty conscience was probably playing tricks on you.
I’m pretty hurt, you know, but it’s okay. I’m sure she’ll be happy to wash your dishes for you for the rest of her life, won’t she? I’ll send you both a postcard from Europe.