It’s shocking me that, all of a sudden, you’re fading away. The feelings have been fresh in my mind and body for almost two years, and in the past month it seems as though they are being numbed, as if I’m suddenly taking painkillers.
I’m outraged that this is actually happening. If I had known it was possible for those gut-wrenching, sickening waves of pain to fade into small twinges, I would have looked forward to it. I would have had something to hope for, a light to hold on to.
I don’t miss you. I think your new girlfriend is cute, and when I see pictures of you, you look like a friendly stranger. I spent 3 years of my life with you, 2 years living with you, and now, a year and a half on, you are a genuine stranger. I can’t believe this day has come.
Maybe I was afraid to let go, because I was afraid to forget you.
I’m forgetting you. And it’s okay.