We have an interesting relationship you and I. I’m not just a puppet you can dangle on a string and control. I’m old enough to make my own decisions. I’m tired of not having a voice. It doesn’t matter what I say, you don’t care. I just want you to care! Yes I know you want me to be this perfect daughter that makes straight A’s and never does anything wrong. Reality check: I’m not perfect and sometimes I’ve got to make mistakes to learn and grow. I’ve tried, I’ve really tried Mom. But there are more important things in life. Why can’t you understand?? It doesn’t matter to you how happy I am, or how passionate or talented I am at something, you will take it all away if you so decide. It’s not fair!
Ever since I was a little girl you’ve created this standard that is impossible for me to live up to. Maybe I’m being too dramatic, but this is how I feel. I’m scared to tell you anything. Close-minded is a great word to describe you. So that’s why we don’t have deep conversations, if you ever wondered. You can never see when you are in the wrong, no matter how obvious it may be to everyone else.
I love you. You know that I love you. I just can’t deal with all this pressure. You try to control and manipulate everyone, and yet you neglect yourself. Do you ever wonder why you seem to always be fighting with those to whom you are closest? Or why you are incredibly worried about the stupidest things? It’s your own fault. You blame everything on everyone else. You take out all your anger and stress on us, and consequently push us all away. Deep down you know its true. Look, we just want to help you, but we can’t help you unless you help yourself by allowing us to. Just listen to us for once, please! If you could just make up your mind to change, things could turn around.
I know I’m being harsh. And I could never tell you this, because I know you would take it the wrong way. I’ve tried my hardest to please you and not cause problems. But you have to understand how hard it is for me to deal with. There comes a point where it becomes rediculous, a point in which I have to stick up for myself. I’m sorry if you find it inconvenient or rebellious, but it’s MY life, not yours. Moms are supposed to set an example for their kids and do what’s best for them. That’s all I want you to do.
I know there are plenty of people out there who would love to even have a mother, or who face much worse scenarios than I do. I can’t imagine what it would be like, and I know I’m blessed. I’m glad to have you in my life and wouldn’t know what to do without you. All I’m asking is to please, I beg you, help yourself. There’s so incredibly much more to live for. I love you Mom.