So the world’s supposed to end tomorrow.
Do you believe it?
All this concrete, people, music, oceans, love
It’s all just supposed to stop.
I know – you’ve probably researched everywhere and then created your own speculation
You probably know exactly what’s going to happen.
Me – I’m not so sure.
Because I don’t have faith in anything (except you)
Maybe the world will end
Maybe it won’t
There’s no way to know for sure.
I picture the end as peaceful
I mean, we all must have seen it coming at one point or another
And for me, the world has been a growing tragedy.
You may see it as those moments before a fatal accident-
Where everything’s moving in slow motion
And you know exactly what to do but for some reason, you can’t move
Your muscles feel frozen…
Or maybe you see it as something more gradual-
Like a loved one with some incurable disease
And everyone’s working to find a cure – we have since the beginning
Some have given up hope
And some just look on with pity, wishing someone would put the terminally ill out of its misery…
The world ending…
It isn’t a shock anymore
And once it happens, I think I’ll just let out a sigh of relief.
That it – everything – finally ended.
I guess the only problem with that plan is that I reside in this forsaken nightmare.
And if it goes, I guess that means I’m going too.
I thought about that last night – my end.
And I don’t think I’m ready for it
But ready or not – it could come tomorrow.
And I at least have wanted to accomplish something.
There’s no way I could cross all the items off my lists –
I made those when I thought I have a lifetime
(Well, it’s still a lifetime I suppose)
And I thought about what I could do – even if it was just one thing-
One thing I could do to rest somewhat peacefully.
What I’m about to tell you may disgust you
But it’s something I simply had to do…
Every night, I think about this letter.
I dream of all the things I would say if I-
If I had the courage to say them.
The thing is – I’m falling in love with you.
I have been for almost two years now
I keep falling because I hope someday you’ll catch me
And after the initial thrill of falling wears off, we’ll be in love
It won’t be a rash fire, wild and destructive
But rather small…only warmer than any fire on the mountain
At least – this is what happens in my dreams.
Many days go by when I don’t think I’m even worthy
I don’t deserve you – this I know.
But now that I’ve fallen, I just can’t stop.
It’s something about you –
How when you smile, your entire face lights up
And how you try to do everything on your own, with your own strength
(you don’t need me like I need you)
And how you only ever say good things about people
And how you’ll do anything to protect your friends
And how you’ve never once worn a mask.
You are a day star
Your light out-shines the sun
And fills the broken world with magnificent benevolence
Even in the day, I can see your light
And even now – as the world is burning – your light is stronger.
I understand the world may not end
But I thought you deserved to know
if someone was falling for you
And I’m sorry it took me so long to reveal the truth
And if the world is ending…
Well, please know you have been noticed
And please smile for me
If I get to see your smile one last time…
…I can die happy.
Sincerely, The Girl Who Wears Masks