It started at the beginning of our freshman year.
I was dating a boy. I’ll call him E. We went to grade school together, and I thought I really liked him. I met you in English class. 6th. hour. We didn’t really start talking until you started messing with me at a basketball game. You eventually got my number from me. There was something about you I just couldn’t wrap my finger around. I was the girl who wanted to fit in with the rest. I didn’t see myself as anything special, just another average girl. We became friends over texting. We kind of talked in the beginning, but really only texting. You were the boy that messed around in class. You loved to throw paper balls at the teacher when she wasn’t looking, and you loved these beads that you stole from the choir room. You bounced them all over the class room. I found you hilarious, but, nothing at the time. Eventually, I broke up with E, & I got vibes from you that you liked me, so, one day I asked you. You said you did. I was dumbfounded, and I couldn’t believe I liked you back, because I liked another boy. I’ll call him M. M & I dated until early summer. But I talked to you more that I talked to him. When I broke up with M, you were dating another girl. God I was so jealous, even in my relationship with M.
One week later, you broke up with her. You were sad, and I could tell. But I believe that we texted more than any one of our relationships. I realized that I had fallen for you. Hard. You tricked me into telling you that I liked you. I regretted it until you said you liked me to. I waited about a week until we made it official. Cliche enough, my mom hated you, so we spent 10 months dating behind her back. We went to movies, shared a locker, met up after school, anything we could to see each other. My mom eventually allowed it. We were so in love. You were my life. When things got rough, you lifted the world off of my shoulders, without me asking you to. We would lay at the lake, looking into each others eyes, talking about the most random things. We were inseparable.
But something went wrong. After two & a half years of no arguing, no fights, no disagreements, we were fighting every night. I don’t know what happened. I got angry at you for no reason, you never fought back. It was like I wanted the argument. Eventually, you started acting like an asshole, and I can’t help to think it was all my fault. I can’t feel anything except for pain. I guess I take what I can get.
Even though I’ve had you for nearly 3 years now, I feel so lonely, & I know you do too. Can we just stop and love again?