You smell like bananas and mold. You refuse to admit that you gained 40 pounds and still try to fit into clothing you wore in college even though it is way too tight on you. You slurp on your coffee really loud when I am trying to work. You have 13 pictures of your ugly cat all over your office. You make me do your work because you’re too incompetent to do it. You think because I am your secretary that I am also your bitch. I hate when you make me go pick up lunch for you, or your dry cleaning. I hate how you get paid five times as much as I do to sit on your huge ass and use ebay all day. Most of all I hate how you treat your coworker; you think you are better then them.
And of all I hate how you keep a box of tampons in the supply closets. It weirds me out.
Well, guess what those muffins I gave you today had laxative in them, and the person that keyed your car….ya that was me too.