I’ve always kept walls up and never let people in because it’s just better that way. I let my walls down for you and let you in and now I’m laying here trying not to cry because I love you and you’ll never know. I could never tell you because it would probably never happen. I like to think about what we would be like together but that’s all it would be: thoughts. and now you’re leaving. This is why I never let people in. It hurts less when they leave and people always leave. I wish you would stop coming near me and saying “hey bud” in that adorable way and smiling at me and coming close to me. It makes it so hard to put these walls back up towards you. Oh my god I literally can’t even sleep right now because I can feel my heart breaking just thinking about it. And you don’t even know how I feel. And you probably never will. Screw that, you’ll never know. For two years you slowly wormed your way into my heart with your smile and eyes and touch. And in 5 days you’ll be out of my life forever. I wish you the best of luck in everything you do and your life. Now the walls are going back up and being reinforced with steel. People may call me coldhearted but I’d rather my heart be cold and whole than warm and in pieces. Since I’ll never be able to say this to your face, I love you BL’09.