Dear fuck it,
I swear to god I will never understand why I didn’t take the chance. I fucking like you so much. I went back out with my ex and my excuse fits your situation so perfectly. However I think I was scared, that I am scared, that nothing ever will come to me that I will appreciate until it’s gone. That’s all that ever happens to me. I like what I have but I don’t realize how much till its what I had. You’re what I had, and I’m okay with that. Just promise me this is what you want, because it eats me up inside to know I fucked up. It would eat me even more though if I took this from you. Or if this happened while I was dating you. I know you know I still like you and I’m sure you know I was honest in everything I said. I wish I had as many balls as you because then I could ask if you really still look at her the same way. I’m sorry I can’t play third wheel today, or ever. She hasn’t been my best friend in a while, I don’t want to put on another fake smile.
“I have a million different kinds of fun when I’m asleep and in a dream that I’m your only one. Can we create something beautiful and destroy it? No body knows I dream about it. This is my imagination.”