Do you remember Christmas Eve two years ago?
We went on a ‘date’ to the cinema, my first ever date. We went to watch Twilight. We went because everyone was so obsessed with it and i was telling you on the phone one night that I hadn’t seen it yet. So we went and we stood awkwardly in the queue and I asked you what you were looking at. You told me later that I looked beautiful.
Well the truth is, I had already seen it, twilight this is, the night before with all my friends. But I still wanted to be there with you that night. So i overeacted at all the funny parts and acted really shocked at the tiniest thing- all so you would think it was the first time. We sat in the cinema awkwardly and our arms touched. We didn’t kiss.
I asked you a few months later why we didnt kiss. You said that maybe you were just nervous. I couldn’t believe that I actually made you nervous.
Next Christmas, you came home again. I’d already had to say goodbye once before. You came to that party with me, we walked through the show, I remember sitting on the train and staring at you. I just couldn’t believe you were sat in that random kitchen with me. We ended up sat at a crowded train station, with an old best friend of mine, and i just wanted to tell her you were mine. You kissed me in the park in the snow and commented on how small my mouth was. I loved that night.
That christmas eve, we were meant to go to the markets, I got up really early and did my hair and put on my favourite jeans. I remember getting a text and just knowing it was going to be you cancelling. I was right. I wanted to cry right there and then, in that little shop.
This christmas eve, you won’t even be there to talk to. If I called you, you wouldn’t even pick up.
If i wished you a merry christmas, you wouldn’t return it. Maybe you’ll pass by me in the street, and won’t even look back.
I still miss you, and it’s not really getting any easier.
who do you think you are to break me in two.
you taught me a lesson, never trust anyone else but yourself.