• I miss my best friend. I miss you.

    by  • June 26, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Miss You • 0 Comments

    There are two things that are bothering me, and you’re the second. I wish we were still close enough for you to help me with my first problem. I wish you hadn’t moved so far away from me. I wrote this first part after what is coming next. I wasn’t intending on making this a letter to you until now. I want you to know, but I’d rather not send it. I’m scared.

    Second thing that’s bothering me:
    Nichole. Nichole. Nichole. Oh, and the kids from my old school in general.
    God, it bothers me when she hangs out with Nancy. I have realized that I am easily overcome by jealousy? Nichole and I barely talk anymore. We used to be the closest friends ever. She liked me over Nancy at one point (I think), now I don’t know my standing with her. I’ve been ignoring her (I feel bad about it), so I’d guess very low. Whenever she asks me to hang out, I’ll say no (or my parents will) or just not reply to her message. I just don’t want to deal with the fact that we’re growing apart, and by not dealing with it, we’re growing even farther apart. I’m stupid. I wish she knew how I felt. I wonder if she even thinks about this like I do. Probably not. Same with any old classmate (I ignore them). I always feel like the odd one out. Even though, I’m pushing myself away. It bothers me though. Knowing how close we used to be, telling each other everything, now I can’t even tell her any of my problems without her bringing herself up and not helping me. She’s so selfish sometimes (but I guess I’m selfish too). I remember all the memories we made. We made it through thick and thin, had our insiders, got in trouble together, we helped each other with everything. I have never been as close to someone as I have been with her. Even now, that we go to different schools. I haven’t met someone like her. I get a pang of jealousy thinking that maybe she’s starting to replace me. Maybe that’s why we’re growing apart? Maybe it’s because she’s so far away? Or that I’m not talking to her? Probably the last one is the reason why. We can’t even relate that well anymore because we go to different schools, and she lives far away. We don’t know everything about each other anymore. I miss her. This entire thing kind of makes me want to cry (and I never cry). I’m nostalgic. I kind of want to send this to her. I don’t know how she’d react.

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