There are so many things that I’ll never be able to say out loud, and I think this the only place I will ever be able to say them.
We haven’t spent much time together, but the feelings I have for you are real, and genuine, and I think that they should be treated as such.
It’s obvious that there is something there. Something amazing.
It’s also obvious that you are unsure. You’re scared, I get that. You don’t know what you’re going to do about anything anymore, and neither do I. Personally I think that gives us some common ground. Neither of us have anything left, and therefore we have nothing to lose. So why can’t you just want me back? I have so little left in life right now to look forward to. I look forward to you. I look forward to talking to you and hearing how things are working out for you. I look forward to the very rare occasion that our paths meet and I -might- get to at least hug you.
Pathetic. I know. You don’t have to tell me. I am crazy and pathetic and self-loathing, and I don’t know why anyone would actually want that, but I think somewhere deep down you do. I hope you do. Once you get past the neurosis and the way I sometimes shut down when I lose all of my words and can’t find them again, I’m a good person. And I care about you. A lot more than I thought I did.
So just want me back, okay? Because no one as rare as you has walked into my life and enjoyed my company for a really really long time. I’d lost hope that anyone like you even existed. I can never actually say these things to you. You’d get scared. You don’t want to hear them right now. You won’t be ready for a really long time, if ever. I’ll be waiting.