I’m so insanely happy that you and I have been talking. Sure we only talk about complete randomness but I love complete randomness. You and I only really began talking this year, and I can’t believe that I used to never talk to you. I remember back in grade 9 French class I thought you were so weird, and now I want to go back and slap little grade 9 me on the head and be like “he isn’t weird, just you wait”. All throughout high school we’ve had at least one class together and during those classes my feelings grew intensely for you. I would always ask you how to do certain questions, when in fact I knew perfectly well what the answer was. In grade 11 chemistry that’s when I fell hard for you. My best friend was admitted to the hospital for anorexia. I was devastated, and I couldn’t take it anymore. Everyone gave me these stupid knowing glances, and I want to scream “you don’t fucking know what i’m going through!” but I kept quiet. I was distraught and everyone’s whispers just made it worse. However whenever I got to chemistry you’d just smile at me, and say hello in your lovely voice. You were the only one who didn’t take pity on me, and that’s what I needed someone. Someone who didn’t give me those fucking knowing glances, because you didn’t know what I was going through so why bother with the glances? During class, my two boy lab partners would tease me saying how I liked you, and how they’d give me a quarter if you and I held hands. I was in grade 11, a quarter isn’t much. Whenever the three of us couldn’t get an answer they’d always yell at me to go ask you for the answer which I would because it was an excuse to talk to you. Summer came and we lost touch. September rolled around and school started up. We had two classes together in the first semester. An English course, which was my specialty and a biology course, which was yours. We helped one another out, and were happy to do so. Over Christmas break I was planning to see if you’d like to hang out, but then one day you came to school with a giddy school boy smile slapped across your face. You told me that over the break you and your family were going to go to England. I was taken back, and told you to bring me back a postcard. Unfortunately there was a snowstorm so you never got to go. You texted me the news and said how you wouldn’t be able to get me the postcard. I said to not worry about it, that I’m glad you didn’t die in the snowstorm. Throughout the break we didn’t have the chance to hang out, but we did text each other. Back at school in the new year, that’s when I promised to get to know you more, to actually talk to you. And I did exactly that. Eventually my best friend found out that I liked you, and it went downhill from there. She’d try to hook us up, or bug me, or tease about it. I knew it made you feel uncomfortable, so I took the coward way out. I told her that I was over you, when the truth was I wasn’t; I was still deeply in love with you. Prom season began at our school and I thought “oh what the hell”. I “suddenly” liked you again, and somehow so did two other guys seeing as they both asked me to prom before you did. We went to prom together and our one friend kept teasing us, and talking to our other friend behind our backs. Everyone that I talked to that night said that you and I looked so good together. It was an amazing night. In the weeks that passed my best friend, and other friend, and I would go eat lunch at your and your friend’s table. Sometimes we would sit beside each other, but usually not. We started to hang out on the weekends with our friends. They tried to get me to hold your hand, but I was too scared to make the first move. Our one friend, A, kept asking me at school the following week, what was between you and I. I wanted to spill my guts about it all to him, but you would’ve heard. A is like my best guy friend, I can trust him, and talk to him too and I should’ve but maybe eventually I will. I cannot wait for summer when you and I are able to spend our days together and allow them to drift slowly into nights. You promised me that you’d teach me how to play COD and have a FotC marathon with me. I’m not looking forward to the end of summer however; you’re leaving for school, 4 hours away. I have to make a move and show you how much I like you. I think I’m in love with you, I know it’s crazy to say such a thing, but I really think so. I look into the past and realize that there are so many things that I love that you’ve done. I look into the future and see you and I together, if only I can work up the courage to have a future with you. I know deep down that I want to, and this summer fuck what my brain says, and fuck my nerves, you and I boy, we’re getting together.
love, the girl