• “When you love someone, but it goes to waste. Could it be worse?”

    by  • June 25, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Confusion • 3 Comments

    I could detach myself from you, not in an “I won’t ever speak to you again” way, but in the way that I love you. The question is weather I actually SHOULD. I love loving you. Have you stopped reciprocating? Is it even that big of a deal? Is it worth it, or will this go away soon on its own? All of these feelings could be coming from a mind (MY mind), which is half in a world of fantasy. But it is not entirely all my fault. It is you who started it. And don’t even try to say that you didn’t. You created the monster. YOU confused ME. And it left me constantly wondering where YOUR mind was. You may have abandoned it. Please don’t make me an obligation. I think that YOU use it as an excuse to leave. I hate the way I feel about you sometimes. The love/happiness/passion wraps around me and traps me and clouds my mind. The annoyance/anger/sadness does the same. It is like being in a tornado. I wish I could have just a real good cry, but it is not happening, and jeeze, is it FRUSTRATING! Why would you start with all of this nonsense and then try to leave it flat. Does it flatter you that now I can’t utter a normal sound when you come near me? I think that even through my admiration for you, I would just like to enjoy a normal friendship because my expectations used to be so high, yet now I have grown accustomed to slight disappointment in regards to you. What were you hoping to gain? I wish I could just be happy with how it all worked out. Instead I acted like a spaz and couldn’t look you in the eye for more than a couple of seconds. Love should sort of be uncomfortable that way, I guess, but shouldn’t it also feel warm and rewarding? I feel like a zig-zag, with all of my emotions going in extreme opposite directions, some coming together. And how am I supposed to feel? Are you waiting for me to say it? I thought I already did. Were you disappointed? Have you come to a realization? If I knew that you wouldn’t absolutely go all uneasy about it, I would tell you exactly how I was feeling. If I knew, exactly.


    3 Responses to “When you love someone, but it goes to waste. Could it be worse?”

    1. Anon
      June 25, 2011 at 10:38 pm

      Sometimes you just have to ask

    2. probably
      June 25, 2011 at 10:49 pm

      i could have written this.

    3. Aoi
      June 26, 2011 at 1:22 pm

      This, this something very similar to how I feel right now, from the title to the very end. Good luck, I hope it works out for the best for you! I understand exactly where coming from so I hope everything is turns out okay. Love is a strange thing, keep your head up.

      -Aoi (= x

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