• Things I Should Have…

    by  • June 25, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Goodbye • 0 Comments

    …done when you hit me the first time was to have walked away and kept walking not fallen for the apologies which made you repeat the cycle till one day I did walk and never came back

    …said when you called me all those horrible names whilst saying how much you respected women but I didn’t deserve respect because I was a bad woman, but instead I kept silent and took the verbal abuse to a point you made me believe I was a bad bad woman

    …done when I caught all the signs you were cheating on me, but instead I held my silence after I got tired of trying to get you to admit so that we could amiably break-up, instead it took a decade of so much pain to finally give me the divorce you wanted

    …said to that woman who knew she was breaking up our family, instead of letting her get away with being so smug she was a nymph in bed that had you wanting her more than your kids could have a hold on you

    but the time for those has past, and we are now a past that I find sometimes I cannot escape because of all that I should have said and done boil over inside my silence.

    there was a time you meant the world to me, but your promises were written in the wind, and so like a passing breeze you are but a memory now.

    tis time to let go and look forward. I am special unique and I am loved … you missed the chance to grow old with me by choice, and I have chosen to grow old alone to save my heart from the pains you caused.

    may we both live our lives with the knowledge we did our best, but sometimes someone has to give in, and I gave in to you … find your peace.

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