My life has been a short one, 18 years to be exact. Within these eighteen years I have experienced my fair share of pain and sorrows, I have grown up in a broken home. Favorite son of a wife beater, drug addict, and abuser, bastard son of a victim. A victim myself along with my siblings. We’ll never have an easy life not that we deserve it, but there’s one thing I think I might have, one person I think I might deserve. I hear there is no greater price than one of blood, I have bled plenty. I am frayed, broken, and bruised… cursed even.
However when I talk to her I feel as I’ve found my antidote, she’s makes it as though I have been resurrected, and I have. I was dead for a time, 3 years of my young naive life, wasted wallowing in self pity. 3 years and my future is much more grim because of that. I needed someone to help me, I needed her to blunt the edge of what wounded me, and she has, I am still here because of her. I thank you so much for saving me, now I can be there to save you if you ever need it. I doubt you will, you’re so strong, I doubt you’ll ever need me or want me, but I can dream and I can lust and though not a religious man I may pray just to remain in your life so that you might remain in mine.
You’ll never know how much you mean to me, you will never comprehend how special and unique you are and how close I hold you to my heart. I love you, I can say that in confidence, it’s not like you don’t know as you were the only person I could ever open up to. You’re so many things to me. I wish one day I might be just at least one thing to you. I feel so greedy, maybe because I am, but that’s okay I’ve been pretty giving in my life. I’ve been the nice guy, I have played many roles. Just this once let me be the greedy guy who gets his way, just this once… please.
This isn’t much of a love letter, it’s actually pretty grim. I wouldn’t lie to you I couldn’t do that, I could never risk losing you over a lie. I am not a great man I have my flaws as do we all, but I am willing to spend the rest of my life chiseling away at the rough outline of a decent person that is me if you’re willing to take me. All in all I am just a victim once again, a victim to her beauty, a victim to her everything, but I don’t mind I’d gladly trade the rest of my years for just a few minutes with her.