I’ve loved you since I was a little girl and you always knew it. But you were 5 years older than me so I knew you’d never feel anything towards me. I guess I’ve grown into a pretty girl because despite how forbidden and wrong any relation between us is, we had sex for the first time last August. I was 15 and you were 20, and both of us were in relationships. Yes, it was wrong in so many ways, but it was my dream come true. Even though you only wanted me as a fuck buddy, I still was so happy I finally had you in some way. Since then, you and me have had sex 5 times, each time better than the last and each time I felt a deeper connection to you, even though I still knew you didn’t give two shits about me and I was just an easy fuck. I never cared though, not at all. I still have my boyfriend who I don’t think I truly love but I don’t want to give him up because I’m his entire world. I’ll always be infatuated with you and you’re the only guy who can give me butterflies. Last time we had sex was about a month ago. It was perfect, you made me feel like more than just a good fuck. We laid together and talked, and you looked into my eyes and told me you wished you could take me with you this summer. I don’t think you realize this, but when you told me that my heart absolutely melted. I felt like you were the love of my life but I snapped out of it because I knew I couldn’t feel that way. It would only cause me pain because you’ll never feel that way. I’m 16 and you’re 21 and have been one of my brothers closest friends for 8 years. You and me each have our own lives and I know I’m not nearly as big a part of yours as you are mine. Lately, the only thing on my mind is you. I see you nearly every day and the urge to just wrap myself in you gets stronger. But our time is running out. You just found a new place to live 2 hours south of here. I don’t know when you’re moving there but it’s going to be very soon. I’ll never be able to tell you how upset that makes me, the thought of not seeing you for long periods at a time. I hate that I miss you when you’re not around because it just makes everything 10 times harder. I’ve decided that tonight’s the night I’m going to have sex with you again. It might be our last chance for a while and to be honest I need this from you. I really do. Even if the feelings of love and happiness I get out of fucking you are artificial, they make me feel so much better about myself. So I guess I want to thank you for that. Thank you for giving me hope that stupid childhood fantasies can come true (although my childhood fantasies of you and I together were not of sex, but I’ll settle for anything with you). I wish you weren’t moving away, and I wish you loved me back, and I wish it was ok for us to be together. I’m hoping someday my wishes will come true. I’ll always be waiting for you.