• in just one year, could we have been something more?

    by  • June 25, 2011 • Yearning for You • 1 Comment

    Could we have been something?? I was only here a year. I don’t know if or when I’ll ever be back.. Being an exchange student is hard…they tell you in the beginning to watch out not to fall for anyone. They don’t want us to get hurt, or to hurt others…they knew already that it would be hard. So we met at the beginning…you were always the quiet one who never said anything to anyone…but you were always there, so they must’ve liked you. You were always the one who made me wonder; what’s he got going on in that head of his. I wondered how your English was…I’d never heard you speak. Then that one night at the ball…I greeted you and you gave me the customary kiss on each cheek, and so began the conversation. I knew your name-I’d asked around about you…Is he always like that, so quiet and reserved? Does he have a girlfriend, or why doesn’t he ever flirt like all the other guys? We danced, and you held my hand, defended me when that drunk guy asked me to fuck. I came to find you were really sweet…started to like you.. You walked me home and kissed my cheeks again, the customary goodbye that everyone here does, but somehow it felt like a little bit more. I asked for your number. I sent the first text…it took a while, but you wrote back. It was kind of cute, the way you wrote-smileys and winky faces, excited ones whenever I spoke of another meeting. I think of you often, but I don’t receive your texts anymore. I wonder if you knew about the times your drunken friends have kissed me. I used to wish upon a star that I would find the guts to kiss you (sober, because I’m sure it wouldn’t be as hard to find the guts drunk). Our friends caught onto how I was feeling. They used to always ask me about us and about what happened between us. I hated having nothing to say-it made me sad, and made me think of what could’ve been. They all said you liked me. They said they could tell. But why couldn’t I tell? Why couldn’t you tell me? I was only here a year, that’s more than likely the reason, but what a waste of time, when we could have been together. I could have found a reason to come back someday soon. I would have liked to get to know you…I have this book-you know about it already-, where all my friends from this year abroad write in it so I can read it when I’m home and have something to remember everyone. You wrote in it, but you were drunk…I wonder what you wrote. I only know that it wasn’t very long. But you weren’t sure what you should write. I won’t read it until my flight home…You knew that. I wonder about it constantly. My flight isn’t for another month and a half, but since it’s the end of school I had you write now, because I was afraid I wouldn’t see you again before I leave. Should I read it after all?? I know I told you I wouldn’t read it, but if it says something about the way you felt this year, I would like to know before its too late to kiss you goodbye.

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    One Response to in just one year, could we have been something more?

    1. handyhipbonus
      June 25, 2011 at 1:53 pm

      if you happen to see ths before you leave, DO IT!!! whether it ends badly or not, whats life without a risk! i made that mistake once, i let him go, i never told him, i found out when i got home,that had either of us stepped up, it would have happened. i might hurt, more than likely will, but you will always wonder “what if”! save yourself the heartache 😀 good luck!




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