• Wish We Never Started Again

    by  • June 24, 2011 • Heartbreak • 3 Comments

    Dear _______,

    I don’t understand you; nor do I want to. I have never in my life opened up to someone the way I did to you.
    I am not sure if I regret it or not, however, I am sure to never go that far with anyone ever again. I over estimated you and under estimated your asshole-ness.
    For future reference, do not tell a girl that you love her when you will ignore her and God knows do what else with other bitches.

    I was never able to say “i love you” back to you; something inside me held me back each time, but you should know that I cared enough for you to want to say it. If you already knew that I was sexually abused and in turn would have difficulty connecting, then why on earth would you get me to fall in love with you only for you to fuck me over?

    Thank God you are not coming to Berkeley with me. I know I spent nights awake wishing you would. It is better to not have what I want sometimes. Maybe you are doing all this to get back at me for not talking to you two years ago. Maybe you felt scared that you found out that you’d be my first. Maybe you thought this new girl will give it up easier than me. Maybe she did. I am sorry if I hurt you back then, but this….this I do not deserve. I would never take it this far. I apologized to you about the past, and we had made our truce.

    I don’t understand you.

    But, after all that we revealed to each other…or what I revealed to you, this is how you treat me?

    I don’t hate you; I can’t hate you, but I do know that I don’t ever want to be with you again. I am disgusted of you.

    You hurt me in ways that I never thought you would. I can’t stand you, I think about you more than I’d like to admit and if I see you again, I will not try to be nice or sympathetic. Nor will I hide my feelings from you. I will tell you exactly what you need to hear.

    You are just a rich kid that has everything he wants…so what were you doing with me? A college student who needs two jobs to support her family and in order to continue her education. What the fuck were you doing with me when you could have gotten any other rich bitch?
    I hope my life does not entail with being with you. I loved you, but cannot bear being mistreated by you; or anyone else for that fact. The one night we shared you decided to get rid of me by ignoring me the next.
    I will not push you into talking to me if you don’t want to; so you may continue in ignoring me. Continue in making me feel like shit and confused in wondering why you stopped talking to me.

    However, don’t be changing your mind; don’t decide that you have missed me and try to begin where we left off. After not seeing each other for two years and beginning over again, I thought that it would work.

    If you slept with that girl, don’t you dare come back to me.

    Good luck in UCLA, and have a great life.


    The girl that got away.

    3 Responses to Wish We Never Started Again

    1. mosdef
      June 24, 2011 at 10:58 pm

      I feel you girl

    2. Alice
      June 24, 2011 at 11:16 pm

      You should be proud of yourself. I applaud you for having the strength to walk away with your head held high.

    3. The girl that got away
      June 26, 2011 at 10:08 am

      Thank you. I appreciate it.

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