• Love?

    by  • June 24, 2011 • Lost Love • 0 Comments

    I loved you, I really did. This has became to much. You put me under so much stress. You made me see the world happy, not dark and gloomy like I set it out to be. Then you made me be just right for everyone to see. I don’t change… for anyone. I needed to get away from you. I couldn’t dump you so I cheated. Hand holding didn’t work. Semi-sexting didn’t work. Kissing did. It wasn’t even a real kiss but a little peck on my neck from him. You hate him, I’m now madly in love with him as my new boyfriend. I miss you, I do sometimes wish I could call you mine again. You over react, you yell and freak out over the littlest things. He doesn’t, he takes things calmly, and from what I’ve seen never yells at me. I do still love you, maybe not as much as I use to, I may never again. I love him lots more then I have you, its bad because we’ve been dating a month, I dated you for almost a year. I want you to change and you say you will. He is moving, we both cant take distance, it will end. I wanna go back to you, try one last time. I don’t know if you will ever make me as happy as he has been. You are better with someone else, you don’t believe me though. Why did I ever let you fall for me? I have no clue. Why did I ever let you touch me and have sex with me? I don’t know again, I lead you on, I shouldn’t have. I haven’t done it to him. He made me fall for him, we’ve touched but agreeing on both sides. I love you I tell you daily, I tell him too… I sit here typing this trying not to cry about you cause I don’t think I should I wait for your text, for your call. I want it now… You where my life for a long time. He has been for a little bit of time. I wish you could just look in to my brain and see all this. I wish he could take it all away… *Sigh* I don’t know what anymore, I’m just rambling now… I keep my teddy from you on my bed all the time, my necklace from you on all the time, and your CD is always on. Our notes and pictures stay in a box under my bed I look at them when i cant sleep… I love you I did, and do. You need to find some one better for you though, I’m to… of myself. I’ve gotten myself depressed and in tears just typing this… I hope if I do ever send this you don’t get more depressed…
    I love you
    I always will.
    You were right. I know this now. I’m too stubborn not to agree…
    7.16.10 </3 I'm sorry for wasting almost a year of your life on my stupid fucking ass…

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