• I told you not to

    by  • June 24, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Confusion • 0 Comments

    What did i do wrong? The one phrase i hate to say, and i hate to have said to me. What did you do wrong?? Nothing. Nothing. You loved me, and gave me everything i asked for. Really, this is my fault. It’s me, for not returning the feeling. It’s me, for leading you on, and forcing you down a road that you shouldn’t have been made to take. It’s all me for being there, and needing you, and when it went too far? Not saying anything because im selfish. And i wanted that feeling you made me feel. That complete happiness, that sense that i was amazing, even though i know i’m not.

    You gave me everything in the short period of only a couple weeks. You made me feel a way i had NEVER felt before. But this feeling wasn’t love. I wasn’t sure what it was.

    So when you told me you were falling too hard for me, i told you it was a mistake. I TOLD YOU NOT TO. It would end badly, for both of us. But you continued to “love” me. You continued to wake me up in the morning with a text saying “good morning gorgeous” and tell me everyday that i was beautiful, and amazing and no one, not even myself could tell me differently. We had so much in common. Really, you were the guy i’ve been looking for. You had everything i needed! So why the HELL could i not have this same feeling towards you that you have towards me? I thought when i found this guy, it would be instant.
    It’s not like i haven’t had the opportunity before. You’ve asked me out, multiple times. But i always say no. Or make up this excuse. I want to be with you. But at the same time, i don’t. Its like getting married after you’ve just gotten divorced. You feel forced into it. I dont know what to do about you. Because you’re everything i ever wanted, but i don’t want it.

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