Here I am writing this letter instead of confronting you.
I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.
Well we were best friends a long time ago. Then we got into a huge fight where we were both horrible, but you were worse and that’s the truth. So we hated each other and stopped talking. For a year.
Then when the guy I was dating for four years and I broke up, you came back. We resumed our best friendship. Now it is six months later and you seem to be pulling away and I don’t understand why.
I’ve been trying to figure it out. Did I text too much? Call too much? Try to make too many plans for us this summer? I thought this was what best friends were supposed to want to do.
Whenever we hang out you seem completely normal. But really. I’ve seen you about three times this summer. THREE. That’s ridiculous! And I’m always the one asking and planning and basically dragging you to get there. Then we have fun. And the whole process starts again.
Excuse my language but– What the fuck?????????????????
I tried convincing myself I am overreacting. I’m analyzing too much.
We planned to hang out Sunday night, see a movie and eat at the new froyo place. I texted you that night after you got out of work and you said you were “too tired.” I say okay… Later that night you respond to one of my texts and you say that last night you went to the movies and ate froyo.
You didn’t even tell me. You didn’t invite me. You ate at the new place without me. I was free. At home. Probably bored.
I was hurt. Disappointed. Sad. Rejected. Lonely. You make me feel all these things. Then we hang out and we are normal and I feel fine about us again. But then you do it all again.
We talked on the phone for a long time the other day. We were normal. We talked about personal things and fun plans, etc. You excitedly propositioned possibly renting out an apartment together after college. And on your facebook you called me your best friend when telling your friend a story. So I came to the conclusion I was asking too much of you and overreacting about this whole thing.
But I really don’t know. You’re supposed to be this super sweet person who is super nice to everyone. Maybe that’s whats keeping me from figuring it out. Maybe you do realize what you are doing. Maybe you are messing with me? I don’t know I don’t know.
You have changed. But I can’t believe that you are intentionally being a bad friend. I have noticed you listen less. You spew out all your problems, I listen quietly and comfort you and advise you. Then when I try you always seem to cut me off at some points and stick your own stories in there. Or “advise” but.. like you don’t think about how I would feel about what you say. You thought of others first, before. I feel like now you are so..self-centered.
Maybe I just feel that way because I am frustrated. And mad? Yeah. Mad. We are supposed to be BEST friends.
You are NOT being enough of one.
And you know I really need friends right now.
Please…Stop this. I want you back. Let’s just hang out and be normal again, okay?
Friends forgive each other, so I will forgive you. But you HAVE to stop. Please?