• Control

    by  • June 24, 2011 • Frustration • 0 Comments

    FRIDAY, JUNE 24, 2011

    Control
    The decisions you have been making have been so downhill. I see what you’re doing to yourself… I feel like I’m watching you slowly destroy every potential you have. You’re smart, you’re beautiful in every way, but your common sense has just failed on you. There is only so much I can do. I never know what to expect when the substance comes to you…. I know it’s going to be a good night or it’s going to be bad. To be honest it hurts when it goes bad. It hurts to see the positions you put yourself in. It’s like you don’t know what you’ve become. Everyone seems to be invisible to it, but I’m not. I know you TOO well. I see the change thats come to you. I feel helpless to you and I wish I could change what you do. Change is supposed to come from growing up at this age, not from a substance. I am accepting this change to the best of my ability, but when a single substance is taking over the person I know, accepting the change is not always easy. I haven’t seen you sober since valentine’s day. It’s already summer. I wish there were days where you would call and ask to go eat or do the things that we used to because you’re sober and not because you need someone to pick you up or help you. You’re going to look back in a few years and think “damn, that girl did everything for me, she pulled me out of a lot…”. Until then I just have to be patient.

    I do so much for you because I don’t want to see you fall. Someone or something is going to open your eyes to reality and I hope it’s soon. I love you to pieces. I love every part of you. I love you sober or not, but love doesn’t conquer substance or blindness. I hope that moving away from me will make you a better person. I hope you make better decisions and change your lifestyle because when you come back it’s going to be a lot different. I will still love you of course…. Prepare yourself on seeing all the good things and times you missed out on because your stupid decisions.

    Love, Me.

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