• Why?

    by  • June 23, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 0 Comments

    We started talking in 10th grade at lunch, when you came and sat down next to me because I had sat alone for the first half of the year. Why were you so nice to me, when we hadn’t really talked before? We didn’t really keep in touch in 11th grade, even though we remained somewhat friends. Why didn’t we talk more, or hang out?

    We had 3 classes together in 12th grade, and it was awesome to be able to just strike up a conversation daily with you about whatever was on our minds. So awesome that I started to have a bit of a crush on you, though I would never dare to admit it. Once or twice in the hallway, when we were deep in conversation while walking to our next class, I tried to surreptitiously (“accidentally”) brush your hand with mine, but I didn’t have the guts to actually hold your hand. Why didn’t I ask you to be my prom date, or at least ask you for your phone number?

    Neither of us has ever had a significant other. I don’t know about you, but I had never really even had a crush on anyone before. Why didn’t I try to initiate some sort of relationship, even though several of my friends and even teachers thought we’d make a cute couple?

    And now, we’re officially high school alumni. In late August, we’ll be attending universities 300 miles away from each other. Granted, we’ll stay in touch via Facebook and probably through a couple mutual friends, but it’s not the same as talking to you face to face every day. Why can’t I go back and redo my senior year of high school and actually muster up enough courage to ask you out? I feel like this is one of the very few things I regret about high school (and by “very few,” I mean like 4 or 5 things).

    I know we’ll have plenty of time in the future to reconnect, maybe get a second chance at starting a relationship, but for now, I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know.

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