I love you.
I’m tired of feeling so close to you and so good about us and so happy, and then having it ripped away. You don’t mean to do it, but I begin to feel ignored. You say you’re sorry but nothing changes. We’re already limited to how much we can be together now, why do you have to take it away from me even more. I get that you have best friends. I get that you go to parties. I get that you have orientation and can’t talk. I get that your computer was broken.
But you don’t call me at night anymore.
I haven’t heard your voice in days,
apart from yesterday when you accidentally called me.
I called you back, you asked me why I called.
Nevermind. And then I hung up, not wanting to waste your apparently precious time.
I get that you’re smoking and you wanna chill. I get that you’re at a table with two girls and can’t text. I get that you’re in a car with all your friends. I get that you don’t find me sexy anymore. I get that you need space. I get that you’re napping. I get that you’re phone messes up all the time. I get that you don’t want to take the time just to talk to me. I get that you don’t want to talk back. And I get that you don’t want me as much as you need me.
All I’m trying to say is stop making me feel like I’m annoying you. That I’m bothering you, that I’m inconveniencing you. If you can’t do that, then stop acting like you care. Because you’re the one hurting me.
Don’t ask me why I’m sad when the reason is you.
I can’t tell you that you make me cry at night lately.
I love you too much.
I like to think it’d break your heart, but then again, it probably wouldn’t.