• Just Stop.

    by  • June 23, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Self-Esteem • 0 Comments

    Dear Self,
    What am I doing?? I understand we all have physical needs and that inhibitions are low when drunk but… seriously? 13 people in 4 years? And in all reality, if we’re being honest with ourself… 7 people in a year? What happened to dignity? Self respect?

    Am I trying to imitate feelings of real intimacy? I know this past breakup was particularly difficult but it’s been what, 5 months? I don’t like feeling used the day after. Thinking that night, “Hey he’s cute and funny and nice to me maybe this could go somewhere.” And then sleeping with him and that’s the end of that.

    I am not a bad person. I like sex, but that doesn’t mean I have to have random hookups or be in a relationship. I just need to learn to keep my pants on! Let’s work on that. In all seriousness.

    How am I not way more terrified that I could very possibly be carrying a love child? I mean at least this is a guy I had a legit thing with and still talk to but still! I’m only 21!

    Sam seriously, I need to realize that having sex with a guy will not make them want to be in a relationship with me. Probably actually makes them lost all respect for me. Try not going past first base without a commitment, okay? Maybe second base after awhile. Promise?

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