• I Wish I Wasn’t Like This

    by  • June 23, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 2 Comments

    Dear My Addict,

    I’m just too insecure. To the extent that I don’t think this will work. It is so hard to trust you.

    You cheated on her with me. So I know you have cheated before. I want to delete girls off your Facebook, off your cell phone, all because I know you have given in before.

    You say you only love me, but I know you told her that too. You’ve promised me forever, but I know that you told her that too.

    We’ve been together for a year and a half, but yet, I still can’t trust you. We’re even engaged. But I still can’t trust you.

    I don’t know how to fix this, and I don’t want to tell you that I don’t trust you. It would probably just hurt you. But I can’t stay in this relationship and be paranoid all the time.

    Now my self esteem is starting to get lower, and I’m falling into a depression. Now every girl you talk to is prettier than me. She is more talented than me. She is smarter than me. She is skinnier than me. She is better than me in every way.

    Now I’m starting to eat less, so I can be prettier and skinner than her. I’m getting clingier, so I know you aren’t with another. I’m starting to think about cutting, so I can control that.

    I know that this is what will push you away. But I can’t help it.

    I’m so sorry baby. I love you.

    Your Morphine.

    2 Responses to I Wish I Wasn’t Like This

    1. Jo
      June 25, 2011 at 2:18 am

      this too shall pass….really i’ve been where you are…if you know its bad for you get out. it will hurt for awhile but you might be denying that special person from coming into your life just by staying. Think about it…

    2. Fallen Angel
      June 25, 2011 at 10:49 am

      I wrote this… I’m the author. I sent this letter, and we are working to make it better. I know that we’ll be able to make it work, because I truly believe that we are supposed to be together. We are going to work at this together, and it is already getting better!

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