Maybe it was your gorgeously bright and glowing eyes. The way your flawlessly smooth lips that lay upon your face like they were put there just simply to be on mine. The way your height made it the cutest way to kiss as you bent down and pulled me close to your warm, testosterone flowing body. The way you looked at me like I was yours. The way you made me tingle from my head to my toes when holding my hand as I put my head on your arm as we walked without saying a word, for they were the least of our worries. The way you played with my sweater like it was a puppy. The way you somehow turned every bitchy remark of mine into a “You’re beautiful.” The way that I couldn’t even look at you without having to close my eyes and take a breath. The way we sent pictures daily with hidden love notes. The way that I would cancel on everyone, just to be with you. You gave me a feeling I had never felt before. What a hell of a salesman you are, because I sure as hell bought every piece of what you sold.
So, as I sit here with tears in my eyes, listening to Tiny Vessels by Death Cab For Cutie, I remember how much of a hell you made my life. ___, you ruined all trust and feelings I have and will ever have about a male species. Yet, I will have to be able to find a way to emotionally detach myself from the hold you have on me. Under all of the “I hate him with the power of a nuclear power plant,” there was a “Shut the fuck up, you love him, you’re just in denial because the feeling is never going to be mutual.” To you, I was nothing more than a hit-and-quit. You knew what you wanted out of me, and look what you got. You got it. Hope you’re happy. You were just in it for the wicked action. You played me. I want you to see what a wreck you made me. I haven’t even embarked on another guy since you. I am emotionally dead. Dead, I tell you. I’m nothing but a bunch of pumping organs in a flesh-covered skeleton. I’m a joke. I’m a whore. I’m just another brown-haired, blue-eyed, fair-skinned girl named Madison. But you know what? I’m a real person. You will have some Hell to pay later on. Just wait ___, just wait.