• Dear Dad.

    by  • June 23, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Anger • 0 Comments

    why do you always have to drag me into your damn problems!!
    you make me so mad !
    I actually cry and hit myself because of how mad you make me at you
    oh and did i mention you bring my self-esteem down to?
    you’re supposed to be my dad.
    what the hell?
    all i want to do is impress you and make you proud of me!
    but your impossible to impress
    the only time you ever seem to be smiling at me is if i came back from a workout, played a phenomenal game of whatever sport i am playing at the moment to impress you whether it be tennis, volleyball, basketball or hockey. Or if i get a good mark on a test.
    I can’t stand the way you judge me every time you look at me and i can see it on your face when you look at me.
    what do you want me to say ? I’m sorry im not your superstar daughter like you wanted ?! well that’s too damn bad because i know i’m a pretty amazing person. and i seem to be well liked by everyone but you !!
    I can’t ever tell you this because i know you’ll ignore it. or it’ll make things worse.
    i don’t know if you recall the last time i tried to do something for myself? when i didn’t try out for the volleyball team because I HATE VOLLYBALL and you yelled at me, punched a whole in my wall, left the house and when you finally came back you didn’t talk to me? oh and did i mention this was on my birthday ? If i recall a phrase you said to me it was “I can’t stand to watch you open your presence it makes me sick”. yeah thanks.
    I want to say dad but i cant even say that.
    saying dad is a loving and caring word.
    you are neither of those things to me unless im who YOU want me to be.

    when you make me cry (which is often) I eventually get an apology with a hug and you say you love me. At first i really appreciated it. Now it means nothing to me cause i know you’re going to continue to hurt me in the most effective ways possible. I’m so fucking sick and tired of your bullshit.

    But i can never tell you how i really feel.
    whatever. I move out in 3 years anyway.
    I guess this is my letter that i will never send.

    Leave a Reply