• and you thought you were confused..

    by  • June 23, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Confusion • 0 Comments

    I never told you I could love you, I never told you I do want to be your girlfriend. I never told you I think your friends are stupid for doing the drugs that they do, and that you’re stupid for doing them too. I never told you that I think it’s lame that you wax your hair. I never told you how gorgeous you are when you’re laying next to me being nobody other than the actual you that I love being around and having normal conversations that don’t involve going to the gym, getting drunk, or you being on some sort of pill.I never told you I think your eyes are the most amazing green I’ve ever seen. I’ve never told you how driven I think you are, and how sexy it is. I never told you that that one time you were so messed up on hydrocodine, alcohol and zannex that I wanted to leave. I was so scared of you leaving me that I never told you any of this. I’m tired of playing this game we’re playing. I’m tired of pretending you don’t mean a damn thing to me. I’m tired of pretending that I don’t know you’re sleeping with other girls, and more so I’m tired of pretending I’m not sleeping with other guys. I’m tired of making excuses for you to my friends that you’re not the complete and total douche bagery of douche there ever was. I’m tired of feeling like I shouldn’t do things because it would hurt you when deep down I feel even more like you couldn’t care less. I’m tired of feeling sorry for getting angry because you don’t get it. I’m tired of getting drunken 4 am phone calls of you telling me how amazing I am and how I’m your favorite person and how I’m the only one you REALLY want to be with. Only to know that if I’d made that trip to see you…you’d have some excuse as to why I can’t actually see you, and then be angry when I don’t tell you I’m in town. I don’t get it. AT ALL. I’m tired of knowing that the only reason you ever want me is because you can’t have me…

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