I started out this letter trying to be mad at you. I really did. But I can’t stay mad at you. It’s not fair to you, and I love you too much to be mad at you. So this letter is just to say it. Finally. I can say those words and not be afraid. I love you. I always have, even when I didn’t know it. And I’m pretty sure I always will. Mum sees it. My dad sees it. Hell your 10 year old brother knows it. But you don’t see it. Thank god. I’d probably die if you did. Anyway, I’m sorry I know I’m lying to you and I know that makes me a bad friend or something but honestly what would you say if i said i love you? You’d run like hell and we both know it. Please forgive me. And this is really the only way I can tell you….for now. I can only pray that you will feel the same one day and that it’s not all in my head. I haven’t told you because I know you aren’t ready. So I’ll wait…. and if it turns out otherwise…all I’ll wish for you is happiness. Because I love you and that’s all there is to it. I’ve accepted it. I’m not complaining. I’m not bitter or sad or angry. I’ve gotten past all of that and I can only hope you read this and hope you know it’s all for you. It’s always been for you.