• Travis

    by  • June 22, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 0 Comments

    Dear Addiction,

    I’m trying to get over you.

    How are you so happy, when I am so lonely? Everything reminds me of you, and it makes me sick. I’m tired of thinking, it’s exhausting.

    There are so many things left unsaid, I never told you how I really felt. I fell for you. Hard. It took me a while to find out that I was in love with an idea.

    I feel empty inside. You know that sinking feeling you get when someone hurts you? I have that constantly. It never goes away. Without you, I feel like i’m treading water, trying to stay afloat in this crazy life.

    I have no idea what the fuck i’m doing, and I don’t even recognize myself anymore when I look in the mirror. I wonder if you feel the same, did I change you too?

    I just want to lie with you, one more time and feel your hand closed around mine. It’s been 10 months since I saw you last.

    I physically cannot bring myself to answer you when you try to talk. It’s too painful and I know that when I do talk to you, everything will happen again.

    I’m afraid.

    Of you.

    Of me.

    Of us.

    Of what we were, and where we are going.

    It feels like someones taking my heart, and squeezing it. I can’t breathe when I reflect on the memories.

    I’m so messed up. I was blind when I was with you, I want that feeling back. I want to be completely unaware of the world around me again.

    I’m so sorry, that I couldn’t fix you. I tried so hard. I feel like I have failed.

    I’m sorry that I ended it the way I did, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to hurt myself.

    I’m sorry I was addicted to an idea.

    You are my hero. You have been through so much in your life, and you still are alive. More alive than me, who has been through nothing at all.

    I am begging for your forgiveness. Please understand I will never forget what we had. Don’t forget.

    -Addict

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