For starters, let me say that I am not perfect. Neither are you.
This is my apology, my sad-pathetic apology to a man that doesn’t even deserve to call himself a man.
I wish I could say that I’m sorry we didn’t get our happy ending after 3a couple of years…but I’m not. I have never met a man (excuse me, I should say a lost little boy) that could constantly pull lie after lie out of thin air. I could tell myself “What did you expect (my name), he’s a military man!” But that doesn’t excuse your actions.
I am sorry though. I am sorry that in 2008 I met an amazing MAN while you were out to sea for 6 months, after I found out you were asking for nasty pictures from some other girl or when I found out you had been messing around with someone else. And I sadly, had to hear from not only one of your shipmates, but BOTH girls. I am sorry that I continued to love you while I weas trying to move on. I am sorry I visited you in your state while being with him in my own state. But I was always honest about what I was doing, while you, you lied.
These past 3 years have been a constant run around. I have been asking for your friendship, not cause I want to string you along…but because I honestly love you, I am just in love with you anymore. But you had kept insisting on asking me to marry you. I repeatedly said no. And you cried and I cried just cause I love you, I always will. But how many chances can one give another not to mention I now have an amazing man who gives me what I need…honesty. Guilt doesn’t even begin to cover how it made me feel to know that I secretly second guessed this amazing man for YOU.
I have never been so hurt untill I recently visited your state (to visit friends) and you sat and cried to me. I was ice cold, I knew something was up. I asked for your friendship and to hangout before I had returned home because I knew, I wouldnt see you ever again. You agreed. So I tried to contact you. And you blew me off.
Now the real kicker, I returned home and the very next day after being home I find you have a gf. WOW! How dare you cry to me and say how you love me and you can’t live without me..while you have a gf! I also come to see that you blew me off cause you had been on a mini vacay with her.
Now, it doesnt upset me that you had a gf who makes you happy. It upsets me that you had the audacity to say things to me that you knew would almost reel me in. And that I was honest with you on many levels but you didn’t care about me enough to be honest. And now after 2 wks you’re talking about marrying this girl. WOW.
Here’s what I think about you:
You are a sad lost little boy. Who doesn’t really know the meaning of the word LOVE, you are desperate to constantly find someone to cling to so you don’t feel alone. You don’t know how to control your emotions or keep your business in your pants. Our whole existence was based on lies. You exude immaturity when you blatantly admit for trying to hurt me. You’re life will never be whole unless you learn how to love yourself, cause obviously you are self-destructive and don’t know when to grow up.
I’m sorry, I am sorry I can’t say these things to you personally (if I did I would be lowering myself to your level). I am sorry that I ever loved a sad excuse for a man like you. I am sorry I have found a stable man that I love more than you. I am sorry you couldn’t get your shit together so we could have been together.
Me (You know who I am)