To you all,
Everyone has a purpose. A purpose for themselves, and a purpose for the people in your lives. This is my thoughts to you, and your purposes for me.
1. You were my best friend. I know it’s hard to keep in touch, now that you are across the country and in the military, but i try to call you twice a week. I post on your facebook wall and send you messages. You respond to one in 15. You never take my calls. If you don’t call me your best friend anymore, that’s fine, just tell me why, cause all you have taught me is not to keep people too close. Eventually even brothers leave you.
2. You were my everything. You made me believe in true love. Thank you. You cheated on me. Then you told me you wanted me but someone else too. I let you have him. You celebrated Easter with my family, and then called me and told me that he went to your house to meet your parents. I haven’t heard from you since. I wanted to keep your friendship, after i taught myself to move on. I’m happy now. It bugs me that you want nothing to do with me. You blocked my facebook, wouldn’t take my calls to wish you a happy birthday or graduation, and then changed your number or blocked mine. Fine. I get it. When you’re 21, 4 years is a long time. I always thought you would have my back. Once again, people all leave eventually.
3. You were my friends. All of you, different times, and different places. One by one, and two by two you left. You left because she left. You took her side, even if it was wrong. You left because i moved, if only back home. I came to see you. it was only 20 minutes. You never once came to see me. You left because the friendship i had with you wasn’t the friendship you had with me. I am not alone though. I want you to know that. I am strong, and i move on. I don’t let the worst get to me anymore. You will not hear from me ever again.
4. To my best friend (for now) I love you brother. You too are gone. The difference is you call, and when i call you answer. I hope that what you’re doing is worth it. I am afraid one day the calls will stop, but I still have hope they won’t. In the last year you have been one of the only people that no matter what i needed to talk about you were there, to pick me up and drive around, even if it was to get coffee at 4am. Please come home, and please don’t leave again.
5. To the girls. Besides her, I have never fallen in love until now. It wasn’t with you. I’m sorry for the ways things ended. i shouldn’t have cheated with you. I shouldn’t have made you think that i wasn’t going to get back together with her. I honestly never should have. I’m sorry i used you to piss her off. i thought i could love you, but you were too unstable. I’m sorry that i was lonely enough to fall for you, and to contribute to you cheating on him. He was my friend. I am happy now. I was not a good person, but i’m trying more and more every day. I needed to learn from you.
6. To my family. I love you. You teach me everyday. I want to be more like you. I want to be more included. I am lucky to have each and every one of you.
7. To you. I love you. I wasn’t sure i would ever say that again. I am lucky to have you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I am afraid what will happen when you leave for school, but i think we can make it work. Please be my one and only.