When did ‘best friends’ become a title rather than a connection?
We’ve become two people trying to remain close by living in the past. Both too stubborn to admit, we’re just not what we used to be. Forced emotions, false titles. Quarterly dinner dates reliving years old memories, not speaking of the present, not even glancing at the future.
I mourn our inability to make new memories the same as I mourn the inability to make new memories with my gramma who has passed. Grieving for a relationship that still breathes with life.
Tears I’ve shed have not been returned, and what is it they say – don’t cry over someone who isn’t willing to cry over you? All your sweet words and unending charm are beginning to tarnish with age and over use. Give me something new, even if it’s not what I want to hear.
Forcing relationships never works.
Don’t spend money on me, you can’t buy your way out of this.
Don’t call with words of missing and love, they no longer have meaning. Don’t plan events in my honor, I don’t need everyone I’ve ever met.
Don’t blame your lacking on your girlfriend, I’m not trying to steal you.
Don’t say we lead different lives, we only live twenty minutes from each other.
Don’t keep posting your want to hang out, if you’re always going to bail.
Don’t call me your best friend, until the friend I knew comes to my door and says hello.
I’m surrounded by titles everyday. I don’t need anymore clustering up my life.
If the past is where you’re meant to be, I will lovingly wrap you in tissue paper and tuck you away in the safest corner of my memory. I’ll bring you out on rainy, sad days to add a little sunshine to my life, then put you back on your shelf.
In the end, the only things that matter are the love you give and the connections you’ve made. In that regard, I am a better person having known you; but before you leave forever just know, I love you and everything you’ve ever been to me.
Maybe we’ll meet again down the road, but for now goodbye dear friend.