• My back-up boy

    by  • June 22, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Letting Go • 0 Comments

    Definitely saw you,

    On Saturday night. You have always had a presence about you that I found ever so endearing. I can’t lie, I waited for you to stop by. For a second I could face the boy, my ex, that I have been messaging and texting behind my boyfriend’s back. I guess it was the way to keep you around when or if things go sour with him. Nonetheless you would be my back up but now I have seen my wrongs. Specifically, i want to apologize whole heartedly for how badly i treated you summer after my freshman year of college.

    I used you
    I played you so well
    I dangled your heart in front of your face and left you defenseless

    And you dealt with all of my bullshit because you simply loved me. To this day i sometimes want to cry when i think back upon the moment we had that late summer night fight. Respect was lost, and we could never get back all that we created. Love didn’t stand a chance.

    You must know I’m done with dwelling on the past. I have learned from my mistakess and as I tried avoiding eye contact with you from across this small room this early summer night I grew up. Plain and simple, in my mind i knew i needed to stop all contact with my back up boy. I needed to for my own happiness and now i’m done with you. I just can not believe it took me THIS long to finally dissipate these feelings and how it took seeing you to be done.

    So now on this night i can sleep well knowing i have finally let go of that part of me that wannted you back and all that you are.

    This night i start my new life with Michael
    I couldn’t be happier

    I wish you well and i hope to not contact you in the future

    A girl finally at peace

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