Remember about 3 years ago? When we used to be best friends? Best friends who occasionally kissed and constantly flirted. Do you remember how good that felt? I do. Remember when you went away to basic training. It felt like I was being put through training…it might have been harder on me than it was on you. I was in love with you, that whole time. I told all of my friends what I felt for you, but I never told you that because you weren’t ready. You werent ready to be in a committed relationship & I didn’t want to risk losing what we had. But do you remember that day you had come back, that very first day. The day we got into the deepest conversation we had ever had in our year of knowing each other. Do you remember letting the words, “I’m in love with you” escape your lips? I do! My heart won’t let me forget it. It was the best/worst day of my life. Because by this time, I had already met someone else and committed to them. I knew you weren’t ready still, so I told you I couldn’t leave them for you. But I wanted to. I really really did. That day I thought with my brain instead of my heart. One of the biggest mistakes of my life. It’s been 3 years, I’m still in the same relationship that I was 3 years ago and me and you only speak maybe once every 6 months. But I’m still in love with YOU. Maybe it’s because I see you are now in an extremely committed relationship, you’re in love, you’re ready. But you’re not with me. Every day I look at my partner and wish it was you. EVERY DAY! Every day I wonder if you think of me any. I don’t think you do. I won’t share any of this with you because I love you so much, I don’t want to interfere, ruin, or complicate this love and bond you have formed. I just wish I could hit rewind and it could be me that you were so madly in love with. It could be us in that new apartment. It could be us with the dogs we call our children. It could be us. Instead of, well what it actually is.
Waiting on another chance with you.